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LSSU Unicorn Hunters: Unicorn Questing TBD
In a quest for the truly extraordinary, I’ve applied for my official Unicorn Quester license through Lake Superior State University. While I await my credentials, I’m brushing up on the DNU’s edicts to track the world’s most elusive, glitter-shedding beasts. Read More
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Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks: Bear Identification
To better understand the wildlife in my own backyard, I earned the Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks Bear Identification certification. This training focuses on the critical anatomical markers used to distinguish between black bears and grizzlies in the wild. Read More
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Church of the SubGenius: Doktorate of the Forbidden Sciences & Ordained High Priest of the Repeatership
Decades after first joining the Church of the SubGenius, I’ve re-ordered my “Salvation by Mail.” In a world of rigid rules, this ordination celebrates satire, rebellion, and the sacred, pipe-smoking pursuit of eternal Slack. Read More
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Purdue University: Rat Tickling
Earned specialized certification in rat tickling techniques to improve rodent welfare. Acquired expertise in ultrasonic vocalization analysis (50 kHz “joy” markers) and positive reinforcement handling. This “Comedic Science” credential demonstrates a commitment to unique technical skill acquisition and stress-reduction protocols in animal husbandry. Read More
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Open Ministry: Ordained Minister
On October 18, 2025, I joined one of the most accessible ministry platforms in the country. Open Ministry champions the idea that everyday people—not just seminary graduates—should have the power to guide life’s most meaningful moments. Read More
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American College Surgeons Committee on Trauma: Stop the Bleed
During the latest WCSO Citizen’s Academy, I earned my “Stop the Bleed” certification. While I’ve touched on tourniquets in past First Aid classes, this specialized training provided the deep dive and hands-on skills necessary to potentially save a life. Read More
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The Church of Spiritual Humanism: Ordained Clergy Person
On July 15, 2025, I added a secular flourish to my journey. The Church of Spiritual Humanism proves that meaning doesn’t require miracles—only empathy, dignity, and a deep appreciation for the natural world we all share. Read More
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Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster: Ordained Minister
For $59 and a healthy sense of humor, I joined the ranks of the Pastafarian clergy. With embossed parchment and vinyl decals in hand, I’m exploring a faith that proves the divine can be found in a bowl of spaghetti. Read More
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Church of Gnome: Sacred Companion
Received formal recognition for canine companion Teddy as an ordained and honored companion, acknowledging his supportive presence, positive influence, and symbolic role in community minded expressions of care, reflection, and wellbeing as part of a broader exploration of ceremonial traditions. Read More
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Church of Gnome: Ordained Minister
On April 1, 2025, I embraced a ministry of small wonders and humble service. Joined by my dog Teddy—now an officially recognized Sacred Companion—I’m exploring a faith that finds the divine in quiet acts and clever paws. Read More