Why I Have a Certificate in Rat Tickling (Yes, Really)

As someone with a PhD in Comedic Science from Abide University & Institute, I like collecting odd little credentials. My latest acquisition? A self-paced certification in Rat Tickling – less than two hours long, surprisingly educational, and absolutely delightful to say out loud at parties.

The course taught me how to rough-and-tumble with rats in ways that mimic their own play. Yes, there’s technique: where to touch, how to touch, and – critically – how to pin. Apparently, without the appropriate pin, the rat won’t read your advances as play. Who knew rodents had such exacting standards for consent?

Some nerdy highlights I loved:

• Rats make different ultrasonic sounds: distress around 22 kHz and joy around 50 kHz. You can hear them with a cheap bat detector if you want to impress (or slightly alarm) your neighbors.
• There are clear signs of apprehension to watch for, plus tips on training juvenile rats so future tickle sessions go smoothly.
• In lab settings, properly tickled rats experience less stress during experiments – tickle them before interactions and they’re calmer, friendlier, and less likely to stage a tiny revolt.