Long before the internet made online ordination a household term, the Church of the SubGenius was already perfecting the art of “Salvation by Mail.” Founded in the late 1970s as a high-concept satirical religion, it centers on the enigmatic, pipe-smoking prophet J.R. “Bob” Dobbs and a theology that encourages believers to resist the “Conspiracy” of conformity.
My own history with the Church goes back further than most of the entries in this experiment. I was originally ordained as a Minister of Slack and High Priest of the Repeatership in December 1995. Unfortunately, the physical proof of my early enlightenment didn’t survive the chaos of my college years—lost somewhere between an apartment fire and the many moves of my early twenties.
Reclaiming My Slack
On October 19, 2025, driven by equal parts curiosity and nostalgia, I decided to restore my paper trail. I reached out to the Church and ordered a re-issue of my credentials. The kit arrived with a Certificate and ID card, along with a mountain of literature so dense with contradictions and bizarre calls to “know what you really think” that it left me more confused than when I started.
According to SubGenius doctrine, that confusion is exactly the point. The Church is a masterclass in using absurdity to point out the absurdity of real-world institutions. Its ultimate goal is the pursuit of “Slack”—that sacred state of effortlessness and freedom from the unnecessary stress of a society that takes itself too seriously.
Satire as a Mirror
For my “Experiment in Authority,” the Church of the SubGenius serves as the ultimate benchmark for religious freedom. While Virginia’s courts are busy debating “sincerity” and “physical congregations,” the SubGenius reminds us that even parody can reveal deeper truths about faith and freedom.
If the state is allowed to act as a judge of what is “serious,” then the rebel and the satirist are the first to be excluded. By reclaiming my Minister of Slack status, I’m not just collecting a certificate; I’m asserting that enlightenment can, in fact, be re-ordered for a modest shipping fee—and that the most “authentic” faith is often the one that refuses to bow to the Bureaucracy.
