Executive Portfolio
Notes
My journey into religious credentials began as a technical curiosity after receiving an honorary PhD in Comedic Science from Abide University. What started as a “Dudeist” ordination through The Church of the Latter-Day Dude soon turned into a deep dive into the legal architecture of the Commonwealth.
Upon being ordained by the Universal Life Church, I discovered that Virginia maintains significantly stricter guidelines for wedding officiants than most states. This friction sparked an experiment in authority in a “Holier than Thou” quest to explore the requirements of various religious bodies. This journey evolved from a collection of ordinations into a genuine academic pursuit, eventually leading me to formal seminary studies through the Christian Leadership Alliance. At this point, none of my tokens of authority meet Virginia’s protocol for officiants, which returns a 403 Forbidden status code.
-
Church of the Open Road: Ordained Minister
I’ve added another “Ordained Minister” credential to my collection. Through the Church of the Open Road, I’ve adopted a structured, six-step roadmap to ensure that my foray into ministerial authority is as legally sound as it is meaningful. Read More
-
Universal Ministries: Selected, Appointed, Empowered, and Ordained Minister
In November 2025, I was formally ordained as a Minister through Universal Ministries. Equipped with official credentials and diverse ceremony scripts—ranging from brief vows to contemporary blessings—I am now empowered to officiate marriages and support my community during life’s most sacred milestones. Read More
-
Discordianism: Popehood
According to the Principia Discordia, you were born a Pope—you just didn’t have the paperwork to prove it. On November 17, 2025, I finally printed my credentials, embracing a faith where every human is their own highest authority. Read More
-
Christian Harvest Church: Ordained Minister
I received an ordination that arrived ready for work. From marriage certificates to a clergy parking pass and a USB drive of study materials, Christian Harvest Church provides the hardware for a hands-on ministry. Read More
-
American Marriage Ministries: Ordained Minister
On November 9, 2025, I joined the ranks of American Marriage Ministries. AMM champions a modern, democratic ideal: that every couple should have the right to choose who marries them—whether that’s a lifelong friend or a local leader. Read More
-
Christian Global Outreach Ministries: Ordained Minister
On November 9, 2025, I explored the intersection of faith and the digital age. Christian Global Outreach Ministries proves that the call to serve is global, even if Virginia’s recognition of that call remains strictly local. Read More
-
The Provenance Center: Ordained Minister
On November 1, 2025, I pivoted toward the contemplative. The Provenance Center frames ministry not as a ceremony, but as an extension of personal growth and ethical grounding—reminding us that our authority is rooted in who we become. Read More
-
Church of the SubGenius: Doktorate of the Forbidden Sciences & Ordained High Priest of the Repeatership
Decades after first joining the Church of the SubGenius, I’ve re-ordered my “Salvation by Mail.” In a world of rigid rules, this ordination celebrates satire, rebellion, and the sacred, pipe-smoking pursuit of eternal Slack. Read More
-
Open Ministry: Ordained Minister
On October 18, 2025, I joined one of the most accessible ministry platforms in the country. Open Ministry champions the idea that everyday people—not just seminary graduates—should have the power to guide life’s most meaningful moments. Read More
-
The Church of Spiritual Humanism: Ordained Clergy Person
On July 15, 2025, I added a secular flourish to my journey. The Church of Spiritual Humanism proves that meaning doesn’t require miracles—only empathy, dignity, and a deep appreciation for the natural world we all share. Read More
-
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster: Ordained Minister
For $59 and a healthy sense of humor, I joined the ranks of the Pastafarian clergy. With embossed parchment and vinyl decals in hand, I’m exploring a faith that proves the divine can be found in a bowl of spaghetti. Read More
-
Church of Gnome: Sacred Companion
Received formal recognition for canine companion Teddy as an ordained and honored companion, acknowledging his supportive presence, positive influence, and symbolic role in community minded expressions of care, reflection, and wellbeing as part of a broader exploration of ceremonial traditions. Read More
-
Church of Gnome: Ordained Minister
On April 1, 2025, I embraced a ministry of small wonders and humble service. Joined by my dog Teddy—now an officially recognized Sacred Companion—I’m exploring a faith that finds the divine in quiet acts and clever paws. Read More
-
Universal Life Church: Ordained Minister
My journey into ministry got a bit more serious with a simple click and a sincere question: Can the state recognize a calling that starts online? With my Universal Life Church credentials in hand, I’m preparing to test the limits of Virginia law. Read More
-
Church of the Later-Day Dude: Ordained Dudeist Priest
If enlightenment can be found between a bowling alley and a bathrobe, I may have found my calling. My journey into ordination began with embracing calm, humor, and the Taoist-inspired philosophy of “The Dude”—proving that sometimes, the holiest act is simply abiding. Read More
Lewis Moten 