Adding to my growing collection of credentials that grant me varying degrees of authority in the Commonwealth of Virginia, I have officially been ordained by the Church of the Open Road. While some people collect stamps or vintage coins, I seem to be collecting formal recognitions of my character and legal standing. This latest addition came complete with a certificate, a letter of good standing, and a shiny minister badge—which I’m sure will come in handy should I ever need to perform a wedding or look particularly official at a highway rest stop.

The Three-Year “Subscription”

One of the most unique aspects of these credentials is the expiration date. Most online ordinations claim to be “forever,” but the Church of the Open Road has given me a deadline: December 11, 2028. It’s the first time I’ve had a religious status that feels like a software license—I’ll need to make sure I renew my “Ministry 365” subscription before the grace period ends to keep my standing in Gunnison County, Colorado, and beyond.

A Roadmap for the “Big Day”

The ordination didn’t just come with a title; it came with a six-step operating manual. The Church’s welcome letter was refreshingly honest, noting that while the ordination is easy, the act of officiating a wedding requires “depth, commitment, and a touch of theatrics.” The manual outlines a clear path to avoid a disaster:

• Step 1: Get Ordained (Check).
• Step 2: Check with the County Clerk (The “Legal Specs”).
• Step 3: Get a Plan (No cocktail napkin ceremonies).
• Step 4: Get in their heads (Questionnaires are the forensic tool of the trade).
• Step 5: Get writing (Iterate until it’s right).
• Step 6: Get practicing (Even if you feel like a clown talking to a mirror).

Why It Matters

A portion of my ordination fees was donated to charity, which aligns with the values I hold in my other organizations. Whether I’m serving meals to seniors, sitting in nonprofit board meetings, wearing a Fez, or standing at an altar, the goal is the same: to provide meaningful service to a community I care about.

As the welcome letter says, “You are doing a huge favor for someone you love.” And let’s be honest—between the background checks, the unanimous ballots, and now a notarized Letter of Good Standing, I’m officially one of the most “verified” guys you’ll meet in Front Royal.