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The Provenance Center: Ordained Minister
On November 1, 2025, I pivoted toward the contemplative. The Provenance Center frames ministry not as a ceremony, but as an extension of personal growth and ethical grounding—reminding us that our authority is rooted in who we become. Read More
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Christian Leaders Institute: Wedding Officiant Skills
Completed a rigorous, study-based ministerial program focused on the theology and logistics of marriage. Developed professional skills in ceremony planning, biblical message drafting, and pastoral leadership, establishing a credible academic foundation for formal ordination and recognized service as a wedding officiant. Read More
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Church of the SubGenius: Doktorate of the Forbidden Sciences & Ordained High Priest of the Repeatership
Decades after first joining the Church of the SubGenius, I’ve re-ordered my “Salvation by Mail.” In a world of rigid rules, this ordination celebrates satire, rebellion, and the sacred, pipe-smoking pursuit of eternal Slack. Read More
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Open Ministry: Ordained Minister
On October 18, 2025, I joined one of the most accessible ministry platforms in the country. Open Ministry champions the idea that everyday people—not just seminary graduates—should have the power to guide life’s most meaningful moments. Read More
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The Church of Spiritual Humanism: Ordained Clergy Person
On July 15, 2025, I added a secular flourish to my journey. The Church of Spiritual Humanism proves that meaning doesn’t require miracles—only empathy, dignity, and a deep appreciation for the natural world we all share. Read More
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Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster: Ordained Minister
For $59 and a healthy sense of humor, I joined the ranks of the Pastafarian clergy. With embossed parchment and vinyl decals in hand, I’m exploring a faith that proves the divine can be found in a bowl of spaghetti. Read More
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Church of Gnome: Ordained Minister
On April 1, 2025, I embraced a ministry of small wonders and humble service. Joined by my dog Teddy—now an officially recognized Sacred Companion—I’m exploring a faith that finds the divine in quiet acts and clever paws. Read More
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Universal Life Church: Ordained Minister
My journey into ministry got a bit more serious with a simple click and a sincere question: Can the state recognize a calling that starts online? With my Universal Life Church credentials in hand, I’m preparing to test the limits of Virginia law. Read More
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Church of the Later-Day Dude: Ordained Dudeist Priest
If enlightenment can be found between a bowling alley and a bathrobe, I may have found my calling. My journey into ordination began with embracing calm, humor, and the Taoist-inspired philosophy of “The Dude”—proving that sometimes, the holiest act is simply abiding. Read More
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Soonish: A Journey to the Water
On April 16, 2023, I experienced one of the most peaceful and meaningful moments of my life. In a quiet setting surrounded by those I love, I stepped into a new chapter of faith built on calm, sincerity, and friendship. Read More