On July 4, 2025, I headed to the Shrine Temple to “put on my face” for the Independence Day parade in Fairfax City. But a few days before the parade, I had a crisis: I couldn’t find my makeup kit.

The ChatGPT Walmart Run

In a pinch, I raced to the local Walmart. I found myself standing in the cosmetics aisle, feeling a bit out of my element, using ChatGPT to help me identify which products were compatible with professional clown makeup. I needed a specific setting powder and something to mimic the pink face paint for a sunburnt nose. Fortunately, I found my kit just before leaving for the parade, and a few days later, an Amazon order arrived with everything I needed to build a secondary emergency kit.

The Corduroy Lesson

Once I was finally in “face” and suited up, I carpooled to the staging area in a hospital van. It didn’t take long to realize I had a new problem: I was wearing a heavy corduroy jacket in the middle of a Virginia summer. By the time the parade started, I was already rethinking my wardrobe. Note to self: find a summer-weight outfit immediately.

I stuck with my favorite props: a rubber chicken on an “invisible” dog leash and a handful of balloons. I also handed out a few wooden nickels that tell the recipient they’ve “met a clown.” I don’t have many to spare, so I saved them for the kids who really seemed to enjoy the antics.

The Long Walk to the A/C

By the end of the route, I was drenched, tired, and lagging behind. The van was moving a bit faster than I could keep up with, and I missed the initial pickup. I had to hike further to the final pickup area before I could finally sit in the A/C. Lesson learned: always carry ice-cold water.

Ready to make it official

Despite the exhaustion, the day was a major milestone. With two official dress-outs at Shrine events, I am now qualified to be an official Klown.

During the day, I also got to “talk shop” with a brother who used to be a rodeo clown. He told me about rocket balloons—long balloons you release so they whistle and zoom into the sky. I’ve already been looking them up online; I think they’ll be a perfect addition to Leonardo’s kit for the next parade.

From nearly missing the face-paint to hiking for air conditioning, it was a day of labor that led to a very rewarding “refreshment.”